I found myself stuck in a deep rut, feeling an overwhelming sense of loneliness that I had never experienced before. I questioned what might have caused it. Could it be because I was entering a new phase of life, with my kids growing up and leaving the nest? It was challenging to make friends when I barely knew my own children's friends, let alone their parents. Or was it because my family had left our church a few years back, leaving behind a supportive community? I no longer had the familiar faces of hundreds of people around me every week. Perhaps it was the impact of COVID, which had isolated everyone, but even amidst the collective isolation, I couldn't shake off that feeling.
These reasons seemed valid, and they certainly played a role in my loneliness. However, when I mustered the courage to be honest with myself, I discovered a more compelling reason buried deep within my heart—a tendency to sabotage myself. I realized that I was creating my own obstacles that made it difficult to connect, find a sense of community, and led me down a path of despair. As I reflected on my thoughts, emotions, and behavior, I came face to face with a few key factors contributing to my loneliness:
Self-protection: I noticed that I had been withdrawing and hiding, avoiding reaching out as I used to, all in an attempt to protect myself from potential hurt.
Comparison: Feelings of not being good enough and unwanted crept in, fueled by the constant comparisons to the seemingly perfect lives I saw on social media.
Self-sufficiency: Independence and self-reliance had always been part of my identity. However, I realized that I had taken it too far, leaving me with a lack of support, an image I felt pressured to maintain, and an inability to ask for help.
I share this journey with you authentically, in the hope that you may find a bit of our story here. Take a moment to explore the depths of your emotions, for it is there that you may find the roots of your own loneliness. Peel back the layers of self-protection, release the burden of comparison, and reflect on the balance between self-sufficiency and reaching out for support. Embrace your authentic self and the desire for connection that lies within you. I'm here for you on this shared path, supporting you as you navigate the journey from loneliness to a genuine sense of connection.
I have created a guide to help you navigate your journey. Download it and let it reveal any areas in your life that you may be sabotaging and standing in your own way. And as always, I'm here for you! If something comes up that you want to work through, reach out. I would love to support you.