A Guide Through The Fog: Navigating Perimenopause Using the Enneagram

I remember the first time I realized I was in perimenopause. I was in my early 40s, juggling work, raising 4 daughters and managing their hormonal shifts, and trying to keep my life “perfect” the way I always had. And then it hit me...hot flashes in the middle of presenting a workshop, nights of tossing and turning, and moods swinging like my teenage daughters. I knew something was changing, and even with my nursing knowledge, I didn’t know what was going on.

At the same time, I had been exploring the Enneagram, trying to understand myself on a deeper level. I’ve always loved self-discovery tools, but something about the Enneagram resonated with me. It wasn’t just about categorizing my personality; it was about uncovering the patterns that drive me, the ones that often trip me up, and the strengths I sometimes forget I have.

And then it clicked: what if my Enneagram type could guide me through perimenopause?

As a Type 3, I’ve always been ambitious, driven, and focused on achieving my goals. Success and productivity are part of my identity, so when perimenopause hit, it was hard to slow down. My body was demanding rest, but my mind kept pushing forward. I had to learn the hard way that self-care isn’t optional—it’s essential. Allowing myself to pause, recharge, and set realistic expectations became an act of courage, not weakness.

For my friends who are Type 2s, I imagine they’re nodding. You’re the caregivers, the helpers, always putting others first. But perimenopause forced me to see that sometimes, the most radical act of love is caring for yourself. Boundaries became my new best friend.

Meanwhile, my client Sarah is a Type 1. She’s always held herself to incredibly high standards, striving for perfection in everything she does. Watching her navigate perimenopause, I could see how much pressure she was carrying on top of the hormonal changes. I encouraged her to practice self-compassion, to permit herself to be imperfect during this transition, and to recognize that flexibility is just as important as excellence.

Type 6s, loyal and security-seeking, need to build their support systems now more than ever. Type 7s, adventurous and spontaneous, can benefit from mindfulness to stay grounded amid the hormonal whirlwind. Type 8s, strong and decisive, might discover that embracing vulnerability can actually enhance resilience. And Type 9s, peacemakers, may need to focus on practices that nurture emotional balance to maintain their inner calm.

By viewing perimenopause through the lens of the Enneagram, I began to navigate it differently. I stopped trying to “fight” the changes and started working with them. I leveraged my strengths, anticipated my struggles, and gave myself grace where I once demanded perfection.

The journey became less about surviving and more about understanding myself on a deeper level.

Now, when I think back, I see perimenopause not as a storm to endure, but as a map, one that invites me to explore the inner terrain of my personality, my values, and my well-being.

My Enneagram type became more than a label; it became a lantern, illuminating the path toward holistic health, self-compassion, and authentic living.

Perimenopause, paired with self-discovery through the Enneagram, turned out to be one of the most empowering chapters of my life. And maybe, just maybe, it can be the same for you.