How Anxiety Shows Up in Each Enneagram Type (and How to Use Your GPS to Navigate)
- Erin Slutsky
- Oct 2
- 4 min read
Anxiety doesn’t look the same for everyone. Some women freeze. Others over-function. Some try to control everything around them. By midlife, when you’re balancing aging parents, teenagers, changing bodies, and shifting identities, anxiety can sneak in under the surface and look like “normal life.”
The Enneagram gives us a map of these patterns. With what I call the GPS Method, you can navigate your way out of stress and toward growth:
G: Notice where you Go in stress (your stress number).
P: Pause and remember the path forward.
S: Shift toward your Strengths (your growth number).
When you are experiencing anxiety, keep in mind you’re not broken, you’re just stuck. When you understand what’s happening in your nervous system instead of shaming yourself, you find clarity and momentum.
Let’s walk through each Enneagram type with a short story, showing how anxiety might show up for midlife women and how to use your GPS to move forward.
Karen stayed up until midnight redoing her daughter’s school project because “the glue lines were sloppy.” She knew she was overreacting, but her chest tightened with anxiety at the thought of it being judged. Later, she found herself sulking in the kitchen, feeling unappreciated and moody.
Stress number (4): Withdraws into moodiness and self-criticism.
GPS Shift (to 7): Lighten up with curiosity and fun.
Try this: When perfection takes over, Karen can pause and play music, dance, or try something silly for 10 minutes. It loosens the grip of judgment.
Maria drove across town to help her friend move, even though she was exhausted from caring for her aging mom. When her friend forgot to thank her, Maria felt a knot in her stomach and snapped at her husband that night.
Stress number (8): Pushy or controlling when anxious.
GPS Shift (to 4): Turn inward and acknowledge your own needs.
Try this: Maria can journal her real feelings and say out loud, “I need rest, too.” Self-honesty stops the resentment spiral.
Lisa said yes to leading another volunteer committee, even though she was already overcommitted, because she didn’t want to look incapable. Later, she found herself binge-watching Netflix, paralyzed and avoiding emails.
Stress number (9): Procrastinates and disengages.
GPS Shift (to 6): Lean into trusted community and support.
Try this: Lisa can text a friend and admit, “I’m in over my head.” Naming it out loud helps her reconnect and release the pressure of performance.
Shannon scrolled through Instagram and saw her friends on a beach vacation. Her chest tightened: “Why does everyone else have it better than me?” She called her sister and offered to babysit her nieces, trying to prove her worth through service.
Stress number (2): Over-helps to feel valuable.
GPS Shift (to 1): Ground emotions with structure and action.
Try this: Shannon can pause, make a to-do list, and complete one small task. It pulls her out of envy and into purposeful movement.
Monica felt anxious about her daughter’s college applications. She spent hours researching scholarship websites late into the night, eyes burning, surrounded by sticky notes. Yet she never hit “submit” on a single application.
Stress number (7): Becomes scattered and restless.
GPS Shift (to 8): Step into confident action.
Try this: Monica can stand up, stretch, and say, “I can do hard things.” Then she takes one concrete action—like submitting one form.
Jill lay awake at 3 a.m., running through worst-case scenarios about her job: “What if they downsize? What if I can’t find another one? What if I let my family down?” The next day she overcompensated by staying late at work and saying yes to extra projects.
Stress number (3): Overworks to prove worth.
GPS Shift (to 9): Ground in calm presence.
Try this: Jill can plant her feet on the floor, take slow breaths, and tell herself, “Right now, I am safe.” This interrupts the spiral of “what ifs.”
Nicole filled her calendar with coffee dates, book club, and two new online classes—yet she was exhausted. When her husband suggested slowing down, she snapped and became critical of how “boring” he was.
Stress number (1): Becomes rigid and controlling.
GPS Shift (to 5): Choose depth over distraction.
Try this: Nicole can pick one class to finish and let the others go. Staying with depth relieves the anxiety that drives her constant chase.
Tanya felt anxious about her teenager’s choices and responded by barking orders: “Do your homework. Clean your room. Don’t give me attitude.” Later that night, she felt drained and pulled away, scrolling alone in her room.
Stress number (5): Withdraws and isolates.
GPS Shift (to 2): Lean into softness and connection.
Try this: Tanya can take a breath and say to her teen, “I care about you. I get scared sometimes.” Vulnerability builds connection instead of walls.
Deb felt anxious about her marriage but told herself, “It’ll blow over.” She numbed out with online shopping and spent hours scrolling, avoiding the conversation she knew she needed to have. Then she lay awake worrying, “What if things never change?”
Stress number (6): Spirals into worry and indecision.
GPS Shift (to 3): Take decisive action and step into visibility.
Try this: Deb can write down one sentence she needs to say to her husband and commit to sharing it. Action breaks the loop of avoidance.
Final Thoughts
Midlife brings plenty of fuel for anxiety: shifting roles, changing bodies, and the invisible load of caring for others. But you don’t have to stay stuck.
Your Enneagram GPS helps you see:
The ditch you fall into under stress (your stress number).
The path toward balance (your growth number).
And remember, you’re not broken—you’re stuck. The map is already in your hands. With awareness and practice, you can shift from anxiety into alignment, one small step at a time.
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