All I Want for the Holidays Is a Little Sanity

Imagine this: You’re standing in the middle of the living room, holding a plate of slightly burnt cookies in one hand and your phone in the other. Your 16-year-old is frantically texting her boyfriend, then yelling from the driveway that she can’t find her keys because she’s late to pick up her friends. Meanwhile, your 13-year-old is hopping up and down, begging for a new American Girl doll she absolutely cannot live without, despite already owning three that are missing limbs or the hair is matted. Meanwhile, your husband is “helpfully” reorganizing the pantry, yet again, and your mom just called to ask why you haven’t visited her yet this week. And you? You’re fighting a hot flash, trying to remember if you actually bought wrapping paper or just another roll of tape. Can you relate?

Welcome to the holiday season of a midlife woman. You know the drill: juggling teenagers who are suddenly experts in existential despair, aging parents who can’t remember whether they took their meds, a spouse who’s doing his best but somehow still manages to ask the “wrong” questions at the “wrong” time, and your own body that seems to be staging a protest against sleep, hormones, and your sanity.

The Slutsky Family 2015

This was me about 10 years ago. Well, from what I can remember, when I promised myself, “Next year, I’m keeping it simple. No stress. Just joy.” But I still found my calendar packed with school concerts, family parties, work deadlines, and the annual neighborhood cookie swap. I was already exhausted, and then I realized I was also craving personal growth books, journaling, and a little quiet time. Because let’s be honest: perimenopause symptoms don’t stop just because it’s December. Hot flashes don’t RSVP, and brain fog doesn’t take a holiday.

So, what’s a woman to do when the to-do list is longer than her patience, the shopping list is longer than her credit card limit, and her emotional bandwidth is basically on life support? I found myself asking: Can I survive this season and still feel like me?

Here’s the funny part: the answer is yes… if I give myself permission to create sanity. That means saying no to things that don’t serve me, setting boundaries with family (even if it’s awkward), and building in tiny moments of joy that are just for me; whether it’s a ten-minute walk in the crisp winter air, a cup of hot cocoa with whipped cream (the fancy kind), or turning off the phone for an hour.

It’s about taking the messy, chaotic, sometimes laughable reality of life, and adding just enough structure to actually enjoy it. Not perfectly. Not Instagram-perfect. But enough so that when the holidays are over, you can say, “I survived, and maybe even thrived a little.”

This year, my holiday wish for you is not for the perfect gifts, the perfectly decorated house, or the perfectly behaved family. My wish is simple: sanity. Peace. A little laughter. And maybe, just maybe, a hot flash-free evening.

Because at the end of the day, surviving the holidays isn’t about checking off every task on the list; it’s about showing up for yourself, even when everything else is chaotic. And that, my friends, is the gift we all deserve.