Do As I Say, Not As I Do: How Well Do You Prioritize Self-Care?

“Do as I say, not as I do.”

I heard that line a lot growing up. Especially during my teenage years, when I started questioning why my parents were telling me to avoid things they were actively doing themselves. And being a bit of a rebel, that hypocrisy only made me want to do those things more.

I didn't have the words for it then, but I knew there was a disconnect between what someone was telling me and how they were actually living.

My rebellious teenage self

Years later, I found myself thinking about that disconnect while working with a therapist client of mine.

She had just spent her entire day helping women set boundaries, prioritize rest, and stop putting everyone else's needs ahead of their own. The kind of work she genuinely believed in. The kind of work she knew could change someone's life.

But when I asked how she was doing, she sighed.

“I spent all day telling a client to set boundaries and prioritize her rest. Then I spent my entire evening answering emails, skipping dinner, and putting everyone else's needs ahead of my own.”

She wasn't being hypocritical. She wasn't telling her clients something she didn't believe.

She was struggling to give herself the same permission she offered the women she cared for.

And I think a lot of us know that feeling.

Maybe you spend your days encouraging others to slow down, but you feel guilty when you do. Maybe you tell someone they don't have to do everything themselves, yet accepting help feels almost impossible. Or perhaps you can see exactly what needs to change in your life, but you keep second-guessing yourself, putting it off, or convincing yourself that now isn't the right time.

You know better. You just haven't figured out how to consistently live what you know.

That's where our patterns come in.

The people-pleasing. The overthinking. The feeling that you're responsible for everyone else's experience. The belief that you should be able to handle it all because, well, you always have.

But what if taking care of yourself isn't just something you encourage other women to do?

What if it's something you allow yourself to model?

Imagine making a decision without replaying it in your head for three days. Closing your laptop and actually being present with your family. Taking time to rest without feeling like you've disappointed someone. Having enough energy left to enjoy the parts of your life that matter to you.

This isn't about getting everything right or becoming the woman who never struggles.

It's about understanding your patterns well enough to recognize when you're slipping back into the same old ways of doing things, and having the tools and support to choose differently.

Because the women in your life don't need you to have it all together. They need to see that it's possible to care for yourself, ask for help, set boundaries, and still be a deeply caring person.

And whether you're caring for clients, patients, family, or all of the above, you deserve the same care and consideration you so freely offer everyone else.

Not someday, when everything is finished.

Now.