Updated: Nov 6, 2022
BRAVING TRUST This concept by Brene Brown can be used at work as well as at home. Creating a trusting environment leads to healthy cultures and honest spaces.
Boundaries Reliability Accountability Vault Integrity Nonjudgement Generosity
Setting boundaries is making clear what is OK and what is NOT OK and why.
Boundaries are meant to keep YOU safe.
When people meet up with your boundaries, they may not know what to do.
They may retaliate or feel hurt.
You may feel uncomfortable when you start to put up boundaries and take them down.
"What do I feel when I put up this boundary?"
"What do I feel when I don't have it in place?"
"Which feelings will lead me to where I want to go or who I want to be?"
"You do what you say you’ll do. At work, this means staying aware of your competencies and limitations so you don’t overpromise and are able to deliver on commitments and balance competing priorities."
The best way to be RELIABLE is to learn to say "NO".
If you over promise or over commit, you may not be able to keep your word.
People depend on you. It's a lot easier to say "NO" than to disappoint or loose trust.
One easy way to determine if you should do what someone is asking of you,
ask yourself is it a
(or a yes, just not now)
Being a reliable person helps build trust in all your relationships.
"You own your mistakes, apologize, make amends."
Accountability goes hand-in-hand with Humility
In order to admit your faults, say you're sorry and do better, humble yourself.
Your relationships and environment will be a place where people feel safe and stay.
If you need someone to hold you to your word of being open and honest, I'm here for you.
"You don’t share information or experiences that are not yours to share. I need to know that my confidences are kept, and that you’re not sharing with me any information about other people that should be confidential."
Gossip is the killer of trust.
Even "Prayer Requests" can be a form of gossip.
If someone shares something with you, it is sacred.
It is not your news to share.
Confidentiality is one of my core values in coaching.
What you share with me, stays with me.
(Unless you are a danger to yourself or another)
Do you need someone to share your struggles with?
Someone with an objective perspective?
That's what I offer you when we work together.
"Choosing courage over comfort; choosing what’s right over what’s fun, fast, or easy; and practicing your values, not just professing them."
I grew up hearing "Do as I say, not as I do."
That's called hypocrisy.
That's the easy way out BUT a hard lesson to learn.
The effects of poor integrity leads to a relationship and culture of mistrust.
"I can ask for what I need, and you can ask for what you need. We can talk about how we feel without judgment."
We can't expect others not to judge us if we are judging them.
Do you want to improve the trust at work and home?
Start with being vulnerable and asking for help.
Practice this daily and you will find it becomes easier.
You will also notice that you won't judge others as much.
Another way to decrease you tendency to being judgmental is to create empathy.
When we understand that others see the world differently than you, it will create a sense of trust and acceptance.
You may not agree with their perspective, but you will understand without judgement.
This is what I love about the teachings of the Enneagram.
This tool helps you understand what makes YOU tick as well as others.
This creates empathy.
"Extending the most generous interpretation to the intentions, words, and actions of others."
Everyone has a story.
We can't know why people act, think or feel the way they do (unless they tell us).
Give the benefit of the doubt and accept that everyone is doing the best they can.
This may be a hard concept to grasp but it's true.
We may see ways others can be doing better but, for whatever reason, they are doing the best with the resources, knowledge and energy they have.
Giving grace and being generous will create a trusting culture and trusting relationships.
Isn't that the kind of world you want to be a part of?
It is for me.
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